"In Native American culture, our way is a little different - not better, but different. For example, I am accustomed to death ceremonies where we stay with the person for four days or until they are buried. During those days and nights, we bring all that we know about the person to the place where they lay. We surround them with prayers, talk and songs. When they are buried, their last song is sung at graveside and they are sent on their way with the ancestors.

After the funeral, a huge, potluck-like meal is provided by family and friends. All the community is fed. Then the family has a "give away." Many of the family and friends who come to the wake or waiting time will bring blankets, gifts or materials. After the feast, these gifts will be given to the community by the family as if they were from the person who has passed - their last gift to the community.

When all that is done and most of the people have left, there is one more ceremony that evening for the deceased, immediate family and elders.

After one year, a memorial service is held where the family and friends once again feed and give gifts to the community in the deceased's name."

Get the Story:
DORREEN YELLOW BIRD COLUMN: In praise of our different ways of saying goodbye (The Grand Forks Herald 3/16)

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