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DECEMBER 8, 2000

Dear Mr. Claus,

We are at a crucial time in the existence of man. The ozone layer is growing, like I predicted. The Internet is expanding, like I predicted. And heavy metal still hasn't made a comeback, thanks to the efforts of my wife.

Throughout this, the United States has remained a world superpower. Through my stewardship, attendance of the funerals of diplomats the world over, and my secret deals with Russians, we have helped the global community remain safe.

But our wellness is being threatened by the Florida Supreme Court. Just yesterday, they had the audacity to question my team of lawyers, who are merely seeking to have some 14,000 disputed ballots invalidated due to the fact that anti-Americans voted for the son of the man who once called your friends "the little ones."

Now I know you are a smart man. A world traveler. A friend to children. A true economic innovator.

So it is with extreme graciousness that I ask you to strike down those Florida Justices. Check your list, yes check it twice, and you will find they have been naughty, not nice. I am sure you will agree that any decision not to throw out those ballots is extremely wrong.

If you side with me and grant me my wish, I will continue to be your servant here in Washington. I will call on Congress to approve my tax-cuts which will benefit not the top 1 percent of America's richest but ordinary people like you.

Yours,
Al Gore, vice President
Washington, DC