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In The Hoop
FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2002

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

In The Hoop: The Scorecard
Is it Friday already? That means it's time for the weekly list of the movers and shakers in Indian Country and beyond.

The Winners
Indian Country Today - Being labeled a scoundrel will only drive up your cachet! This is the best publicity, and the most, you will ever get. Savor it while it lasts.

Court Monitor Joseph Kieffer - We can't wait for your next report. And it only cost us $500,000!

Special Monster Alan Balaran - We have a list of Department of Interior employees we'd like ousted. We'll forward you their names.

Gov. Gary Johnson - Anyone who hinders Russell Means' walk around New Mexico gets our vote.

The Losers
The Wall Street Journal - People will wonder why you took such great lengths to address criticism by citing reports written by other newspapers. Oh wait, they're already doing that.

Scrubs - You're so insane, you probably think this item is about you. Don't you? DON'T YOU?

Russell Means - You haven't even started walking but you've made us tired already. Stop.

Science - You don't mean anything to the Bush administration unless you can be rewritten.

In The Middle
Casino Studies - We don't need you. We know tribal casinos bring crime, the mafia, Italian ex-bodyguards who wear Hell's Angels jackets, Donald Trump and traffic. The Great White Paper told us so.

Enron Secretary Thomas E. White - Three weeks and counting!

In Your Hoop
Got an interesting tip to spill? Email In the Hoop and let us know.

Previous In The Hoops
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