Tiffany Midge: Welcome to America's greatest amusement park

Hello and welcome to West Wing World, your immersive, resort and holiday experience. I’m Kellyanne, your personal concierge. We hope you enjoyed our West Wing World transit accommodations. If you were stalked or nearly taken prisoner by staffer holdouts from the Obama administration, please accept our apologies, we are still in the process of evacuating hosts and personnel who have been…shall we say, a teensy bit confused about the concept of “changing of the guard.” Obama left gracefully, but former VP Biden has holed up in a cupboard on the third floor like he’s Anne Frank or something, and refuses to leave. Our security teams have assured that you’re in no danger. In fact, some of our guests are quite exhilarated by all the excitement, and have even requested that former VP Biden take them as hostages. Here at West Wing World we aim to please, that’s our motto, right up there with “alternative facts.”

If you are viewing this orientation video, congratulations! You made it! I am here to ensure that your stay will be as enjoyable as possible. Should you need any assistance, please contact me anytime day or night. (Like, seriously, day or night, I literally don’t sleep or have any personal agency whatsoever, usually I try and keep that on the DL because some guests find it rather creepy, but I can tell right away that you’re different from all the rest, and I really mean that, wink.)