Stand Up For The Children: “We will use the lessons from our historical past, and contemporary methods combined with our traditional customs, language, and ceremonies to provide comprehensive and holistic advocacy for every Wakanyeja and their Tiospaye.” -- OL CASA Mission Statement. COURTESY/OL CASA website
When child sexual abuse hits close to home
By Christina Rose
Native Sun News Correspondent PINE RIDGE — According to experts on the Pine Ridge Reservation, child sexual abuse is a growing problem and both the victims and perpetrators are getting younger. While there are many materials widely available to assist families with avoiding sexual abuse, less is said about what a parent can do if they discover their child has been abused. Compounding the problem, according to Forensic Interviewer Holly Strand, is that only one out of three victims, or 25 to 35 percent, ever reveal the abuse, so parents must be aware of changes in their children’s behavior. “There are certain signs of sexual abuse. Some kids become the perfect child so no one knows anything has happened to them. Their grades may drop or they may gain or lose weight. It can be different things for different kids.” Strand warns that common abuse prevention practices may be inefficient. “People are telling their kids about “stranger danger,” but I have interviewed 900 kids and only six were touched by strangers. Also, the whole good touch, bad touch; one little girl said her relative said it was neither, it was special touch.” Oglala Lakota CASA Director Arlana Bettelyoun said that talking to children about abuse depends on their age and development. “Every child is different but if they are asking, that’s the time to start to talking about healthy sexuality. There is no script.” The National Sexual Offender Public Website also suggests including conversations about sexual abuse with relaxed and casual conversations about sex and to avoid having one big talk that includes both. “Talking about it, and talking about the tactics (of the abusers) is important. Parents can be frank with their children,” Bettelyoun said. “And parents have to be so cautious of who they leave their children with.” Bettelyoun added that it is especially important to be careful when children are together, especially where there is drinking in the home and there are many children of various ages around. “When people are drinking, they may not be checking on kids; the kids may not be supervised.” Right now there are hundreds of convicted sex offenders in the state of South Dakota, according to the National Sex Offenders Public Awareness website. Posters and handouts are readily available, but nothing can prepare a family for the problems that accompany the abuse of a child. Linda Thompson, director of First Nation's Women's Alliance in North Dakota, said, “People need help at crisis time, because families can literally explode.” When a child tells a parent they have been abused, therapy is critical for the entire family. Thompson said, “The kids look to us for direction.” Children, who are themselves confused, might regret reporting the incident if her parent reacts inappropriately. Thompson said, “This happened, and the reaction is, ‘I told and now you’re crying.’ The whole family needs support. Abuse can devastate the family, especially if it was a family member.” Without support, “There can be misunderstandings in the family,” Thompson said. “They need to know what not to say, like, ‘You shouldn’t have been over there,” which is blaming the victim. Rumors and misinformation are critical to address. Thompson said, “If a boy is abused, people think he will grow up gay or become an abuser.” Thompson added that even after abuse, “You can be well and whole again.” Thompson and other experts agree that many of the best healing sources after abuse are found within the culture. “The ceremonies help so much. It’s the time for compassion, caring and acceptance,” she said. With traditional Native healing methods, Thompson said, “It’s sacred, not secret. There’s something really genuine about that, the songs, the wiping of the tears, and that focus on your spirit being hurt. That is the beautiful thing about our people, we have that. It is an option that can really be useful.” Dr. Arne Graff, a pediatric physician from North Dakota, specializes in child abuse and he agrees with Thompson. “Some of the kids we see, when they work with spiritual people we see phenomenal results, so we make use of all those services.” According to Graff there is more to child abuse than meets the eye. Symptoms may not surface until adolescence or later, and especially if the abuse takes place before the child can speak, the abuse can affect their brain development. “There are different types of abuse, but they all have an impact on the brain, particularly in children under age four and age two.” Graff explained that in early development, the brain is laying down networks, connections and development that include motor skills like reaching out and transferring objects from hand to hand. “They may be learning how to walk but they are also developing an emotional sense of trust, a sense of calm.” Graff said that fear and anxiety can impact development, but might not occur in all children. “Some children are incredible survivors, but for those who really suffer, changes can occur, like the brain injury of a shaken baby,” Graff said. For children who don’t exhibit physical symptoms, Graff said, “Then we are dealing with ADD or oppositional behavior. Many kids are called those things but it’s really abuse that has caused brain wiring to dysfunction.” “One of the most important things to know is if you take a child who has been abused, as a teen they may have a higher risk for sexual activity, substance abuse, they might be more impulsive, or have inappropriate judgment,” Graff said. However, Graff said there is an advantage to knowing the abuse occurred. “We can anticipate the problems and work with them. When we realize there is a potential for these kinds of behaviors, it helps us against labeling them as a bad teen. It has more to do with the wiring of their brains, so the response as caregivers has to be different or the problems could be escalated,” Graff said. OL CASA’s Bettelyoun believes that education and awareness are critical and the organization provides many excellent materials. “Child advocacy is a big word and that’s what we do. We work exclusively for the children,” Bettelyoun said. Currently, OL CASA is strategically looking at child abuse and the effects on children, teens and families on the Pine Ridge Reservation, and is formalizing questions for a Community Needs Assessment. “We are hoping to start with OL CASA, doing surveys, town hall meetings and focus groups.” The program will be in conjunction with the Tribal Child Protection Team and the OST Attorney General. OL CASA is also incorporating traditional healing practices with high-tech connections. Through Skype, “We were able to do some traditional healing with Larry Swalley, and we have many children we are serving right now, about 100,” Bettelyoun said, adding that Swalley sings traditional songs and utilizes other cultural healing practices. Bettelyoun identifies some of the emotional aspects the children are going through, which may include not being able to visit with their far-away families. But even when children are far away, parents can be a part of the healing process with Skype. Sometimes emotions run deep and even if the children cry during the sessions, "They are able heal and see great progress after they process their emotions," Bettelyoun said. "The therapists are sitting right there with them. We can discuss what medications they are on and we can be very thorough in our advocacy.” According to Bettelyoun, there are a lot of efforts within the tribe to attend to the victims and families of abuse. “We are in the realm of thinking of things we haven’t done that needs to be done.” OL CASA has many informational materials for families and can be reached at 605-867-5643. There are also many online resources. Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network website has a long list of information for talking to children about abuse, before and after it has happened.
www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/child-sexual-abuse/if-you-suspect
www.rainn.org/get-information/types-of-sexual-assault/child-sexual-abuse National Sexual Offender Public Website, click on map, and click on each red dot for information about the offender.
www.nsopw.gov/en-US/Education/TalkingChild#reference (Contact Christina Rose at christinarose.sd@gmail.com) Copyright permission by Native Sun News
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