Carole Iron Rope-Herrera and Becky Chief Eagle are both members of the Stone Boy Women’s Society. PHOTO BY/Christina Rose
Stone Boy Women's Society: Spiritual guidance to regain balance
By Christina Rose
Native Sun News Associate Editor PINE RIDGE — For women who are seeking healing through traditional ways, the Stone Boy Women’s Society offers women and children the spiritual guidance they need to regain balance in their lives and homes. The group came together for the first time in 2003 as a collaboration of Lakota women who were also community activists. The women were seeking to address the despair and loss of identity they were seeing throughout their communities. Using traditional spiritual ceremonies, The Stone Boy Women’s Society committed themselves to helping women and children heal, restore balance, and build self-esteem and confidence. Each of the society’s leaders is an established member of their tribal communities and trained in techniques and practices that have long been used in traditional Lakota society. During an interview with Carol Iron Rope-Herrera and Rebecca Chief Eagle the Maka Wiconi Ta Woope (Living the Laws of Life) are discussed. NSN: What makes the Stone Boy Women’s Society so necessary in today’s world? Iron Rope-Herrera: “Most now think in the ways of the dominant culture. We have to teach the concepts of harmony; the concepts of our culture must be taught to our young people. Already we are losing our language.” Iron Rope-Herrera worked for Public Safety for 10 years, and was sometimes called upon to help families with teens that had attempted suicide. One man didn’t want any counselors involved because they had been taught from a western mindset. Iron Rope-Herrera: “It goes back to the history of our people, the distrust, because of the treatment and trauma. Some have worked through their issue of alcoholism and drugs and some have resolved their grief. They have that openness and sense of belonging, so you feel comfortable. The circle we belong to is like that, it’s unconditional love, it’s acceptance. There is no judgment; we are there to help each other live the Lakota values way of life. We are a spiritual family and not ashamed to say I love you.” She said that when the Lakota teachings are taught to young people, they are less likely to fall into the pitfalls of substance abuse and suicide. From birth, traditional ceremonies bring children from one step to the next in their lives. Such guidance not only allows them to know who they are, and what their role in the world is, but keeps them safely on their journeys. “We are raised as children to know that we have a spirit, but the spirit has to be taken care of. From what I see, the young people today are only loosely connected to their spirit, and when they don’t know and haven’t been taught, we have things like suicide happen. If the spirit leaves the body due to trauma or abuse or if a person feels lost, or is medicating themselves with alcohol or drug abuse or attempting suicide, we have to call their spirit back. When our physical body is hungry, we know how to feed it. But how do we feed our spirit?” she asks. “Children are walking around without a belief in a creator or a belief in themselves. The foundation of the home is first to creator, and then to ourselves and then to our relatives. It’s about family, and it’s about empowerment. Once children know the foundation of their spirituality, they will always be strong.” Chief Eagle: “I find when you are walking that Lakota way of life and have that spiritual foundation, and you have those seven sacred ceremonies under your belt, you are walking in a good way. When I didn’t have that spiritual foundation, I struggled as an individual. I observed those who really had it tough because they didn’t recognize or realize their spiritual self. Usually when you are smoking or drinking and not praying daily, we lose that foundation and are left wide open to other influences. That is where the drama and chaos comes to you. And if you lose your way, that’s where you are going to really, be..." Iron Rope-Herrera: “That’s what the elders teach us about prayer; that prayer is the most powerful thing. It is the foundation of our homes. The elders teach us work ethics, structure, they teach us to listen and be observant. Treasuring, honoring, and respecting our children in the kind, gentle, and patient ways of the grandparents and great-grandparents, a lot of that is missing today.” NSN: How does this kind of prayer and commitment to traditions affect the family as a whole? Iron-Rope Herrera: “It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing to see when a family has a spiritual foundation. The generosity, the helping behaviors, the compassion we are supposed to have for each other, it’s all within that circle. When I see it, it’s beautiful. If I can walk into a home and a 16-month-old takes me by the hand and takes me to a chair, and then brings me a piece of orange, that’s hospitality, and those beautiful things are being taught there. Those are what we want our people to reclaim, not the alcohol, and drugs and abuse and neglect of our children. Go back and reclaim the love and nurturance, the gentle patient ways of our people.” NSN: Does that kind of spirituality help people be better parents? Iron Rope-Herrera: “We never hit our children; that was a learned behavior from the government boarding schools. Our sacred children came through a black hole in the big dipper and they made their journey from a sacred place. We are taught they are sacred, and when we receive them, we receive them in sacred ways. That’s what our women’s society is about. The birthing ceremonies for these children, the honoring of the spirit in the womb ceremony, welcoming that spirit of the baby, and when that baby is born, there are the spiritual teachings of what you will teach that child. The ceremonies necessary to receive that child in a sacred way are what you have to do, and the teachings are explained to that family. Some ceremonies assure the generations for that family, of where they will call home.” NSN: When women are loosely connected to their spirituality and want to reconnect with those ceremonies, how can they do that? Iron Rope- Herrera: “Look in your community to see who is going to those ceremonies. In the community I live in there is a woman at the store and she said, ‘I would like to go in a sweat,’ and another one encountered a spirit on a trip into the country and he gifted her some eagle feathers. She wanted to find something out so it is really important they know the person in their community. Every community has someone who can be a liaison who can help. For us as the women’s society, for mothers who want their daughters to go to a medicine man, we prefer they bring them to us first so we can go with them.” Chief Eagle: “It is appropriate for the women to work with the women and for us; Carol is the liaison to the medicine man because this young girl is just starting out. She can be misled, and there is the protection and safety issue, so that she doesn’t get abused. That is the protection we offer for young people, whether it is in the lodge or with a medicine person who treats them in an inappropriate way. NSN: How important is it to attend ceremonies? Can a person just participate once in a while? Iron Rope-Herrera: “Every step of the way is important. It isn’t, ‘I can just go one time and that’s it.’ No, every step of the way, you have to have that for ourselves, our wellness, our health is dependent on those ceremonies. You can’t just say, ‘Oh, I went through ceremony, now I am good and forget about it.’ “It’s like when you go to the doctor and you have to get your medicine every month. It’s a daily thing; it’s like being a diabetic, like checking your sugar daily. In essence our ceremonies are where we get our health. We go to the other clinics too, but this is where we get our spiritual health.” NSN: Does the society meet regularly? Chief Eagle: We meet every four months and plan our insnati camps. We also call each other and do check ins. Iron Rope-Herrera: “Yes, there are times throughout the year that we support each other but we are a spiritual family during that Sundance time. When we meet like at Sundance, they tell us who the initiates are. They have made that contact with the spiritual leader, so we can say, I live in the same community that you do and if you need any help of any kind, this is where I live. There are ceremonies throughout the year that we support each other but really at Sundance, those five or six days during June.” Contact Carol Iron Rope-Herrera at 605-407-9440 (Contact Christina Rose at christinarose.sd@gmail.com) Copyright permission by Native Sun News
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