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In The Hoop
FRIDAY, MARCH 8, 2002

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

In The Hoop: The Scorecard
Is it Friday already? That means it's time for the weekly list of the movers and shakers in Indian Country and beyond.

The Winners
Indian Country - You can rely on clear, innovative reporting from Washington D.C., now that a certain someone is no longer phoning it in.

EDS Corporation - Hey! We recommend you contract all these trust functions to . . . us! Here, sign this multi-million dollar agreement before someone notices.

Inspector General Earl Devaney - First the recognition report and now the law enforcement one. Sounds like someone is trying to justify his budget and his years of inaction before Auntie Gale doles you out to the aforementioned contractor. At least you're trying.

Rancher William Dawson - "I'm not going to sell out, move away and work as a Wal-Mart greeter in my golden years." Enough said.

The Losers
Jena Band of Choctaws - So the casino thing is clearly not working out, maybe you should consider reintroducing your line of body splashes?

Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell - All that crying was for naught. Maybe a rich gaming tribe will buy that multi-million dollar ranch. Or, worse yet, Kevin Costner.

The Wall Street Journal - We know your conservative leanings prevent you from supporting gaming. Too bad they also contribute to your racism.

Gov. George Pataki - We know your Oneida "settlement" and your memos are attempts to make sure you negotiate with friendly Indians at the expense of hostiles. Welcome to the New West!

In The Middle
Tribal Task Force - What are all forty-something of you doing in Phoenix, Arizona, anyway? We know it's not to visit the "Office" of the Special Trustee there. Do you really think Auntie Gale cares what you develop? She's moved on to something else already.

Elouise Cobell - It turns out $614 million in wasted dollars was all your fault.

Native Hawaiians - Someone needs to act before all your land, services and funds get taken over by the haolies.

The Chinook Nation - You're all but doomed but we didn't want to get your hopes down any more.

In Your Hoop
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Previous In The Hoops
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