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In The Hoop
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2001

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

In The Hoop: The Scorecard
Is it Friday already? That means it's time for the weekly list of the movers and shakers in Indian Country and beyond.

The Winners
Cobell, et al v. The World - You are winning this week, but don't expect a settlement anytime soon, if ever!

Ho-Chunk, Inc - For being salvation of the Winnebago Tribe. When we will be able to get take-out sushi at the shopping mall / grocery store / convenience store / food lot / slurpee stand / gas station / smoke shop?

U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth - When are you going to get your own syndicated television show? You are the only thing that makes this contempt trial even remotely interesting.

Tommy Thompson - For being Whistleblower of the Week! Of course it took a threat of contempt to do it. And that "office" in Phoenix doesn't hurt. But will you have a job after this?

Chaos, Disorder And Confusion - Well that could be said for almost every day at the Bureau of Indian Affairs. Maybe in January things will be better.

The Losers
Secretary of Interior Gale Norton - We know you are on trial, but using the practically-midnight submission of the Bureau of Indian Trust Assets Management (BITAM) to a judge as the reason for keeping it alive puts you in this column this week. Especially since you still have no idea yourself what BITAM represents.

The Department of Justice - For losing horribly this week. You still have one (or possibly two) more tricks up your sleeve, but will you release them? We wonder if you even know about them!

Tribal Leaders - All your complaining will be for nothing, because the Interior won't listen. Why not just pull a Zuni already? The government lost its trust expertise decades ago.

Arthur Andersen- Your accounting for Enron was lousy, practically criminal. Your accounting for the Interior was much the same.

In The Middle
Middle Management - Interior says: "More Bureaucrats are Better than One." Tribal Leaders say: "Why didn't we get our Say." In the Hoop says: "Middle Management never gets anything done." So much for Reinventing Government!

New York Casinos - Everyone is in a mad race for you this week. But you still have a long way to go before you are legal.

BITAM - For ah, ah, ah, ah staying alive, staying alive. Norton says so because you were shown to a judge. Of course, not everything the Interior has ever said to a judge can be "verified."

Tribal Trust Accounts - For being hijacked by the Interior as a bargaining chip in the Cobell litigation. You may or may not get paid this month. Most likely, the former.

In Your Hoop
Who are your winners and losers? Email In the Hoop and let us know.

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