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In The Hoop
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2001

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

Great Moments in Indian History
Indian history is filled with many great moments. Nez Perce Chief Joseph's "I will fight no more" speech. The 1868 Fort Laramie Treaty. The first fry bread.

So when In The Hoop heard about Ralph Thomas' defiant protest against the mistreatment of Native remains by the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, we thought we'd come up with our own list of significant Indian events. But this one is filled with moments many of us would rather soon forget, or wish never happened!

The 1930s: Indian Reorganization Act passes. Robert's Rules of Order become bedtime reading for new tribal chairmen.

The 1940s: First Indian Health Service clinic opens on Navajo Reservation. Tinted eyewear becomes fashion trend that won't die.

The 1950s: First Sioux decides to become extra in Hollywood Western. Five minutes later, actor demands star billing. Two minutes later, exotic horses get better treatment. One minute later, five SAG-less Italians rushed in to take Sioux actor's place.

The 1960s: Hippies think Hopis are cool and flock to Arizona reservation. Hopis think Hippies are crazy. Hippies leave after discovering piki has no psychedelic powers.

The 1970s: Someone tells activist Russell Means he looks good in earrings. Fashionistas shriek every time he is seen.

The 1980s: Hollywood casting director thinks Lou Diamond Phillips can play Indian. Movie audiences treated to shabby performances ever since.

The 1980s, Part II: President Ronald Reagan tells Russian and American children he wishes Indians would "be citizens like the rest of us." Washington, D.C. airport subsequently named after him. Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell later converts to Republican party.

The 1980s, Part III: Kiowa drum group visits Big & Tall store in Tulsa. Store never recovers.

The 1990s: Indian activists urinate on Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts. White people rush to condemn such a disgrace. The Boston Globe quickly proclaims no genocide ever occurred. Indian Country treated to shabby reporting ever since.

The 1990s, Part II: Environmental Protection Agency tries to revive Iron Eyes Cody for new "Crying Indian" campaign. Plans are scrapped after other government forces protest. Murals depicting pillage by Indians still on EPA walls.

In Your Hoop
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